Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'm just having fun with them.
Rating: R to be sure but rather PG 13
Warning: Deathly Hollows Spoilers. Don't read further if you don't want to know.
Summary: After Deathly Hollows, Hermione can't stand the man she loved in secret died. So she came back into time to change the past.
Note: English is not my native tongue.
Months after Voldemort's defeat, Hermione was still grieving her lost love. She had turned thinner and darker. She was moody. She was teaching at Hogwarts without any conviction. She was haunted by Severus Snape's last words, when he was dying, when he told her he loved her. She remembered when Harry had knelt by Snape's side. She had come by him and Snape had smiled to her. She had been stunned by this smile, so kind, so sweet, so different from his usual sarcastic grins. She had knelt by his side in turn and Snape had taken her hand in his, already icy.
"I never told you... now I can... as it doesn't matter anymore," he had whispered. "I love you."
Hermione's eyes had widened. "You... love... me?" she had croaked, barely aware that Harry was getting up, leaving them alone.
"I've been in love since I saw you at that stupid Yule Ball, in your incredible pink dress. The little girl had turned into a beautiful young woman..." Snape had said in a breath. Blood was oozing from his wound and it was obvious he wouldn't last long.
"I love you, too, professor," Hermione had whispered, opening her heart for the very first time.
"I don't. I've been in love with you for a long time," Hermione had confessed, not a little girl anymore but a woman talking to a man.
"Too bad either of us didn't say a word," Snape had faintly smiled.
His fingers were loosing their grip on Hermione's hand.
"Don't die," she had cried.
"I'm afraid I've no choice," Snape had replied in his usual sarcastic voice. "I love you, Hermione."
It had been his last words. His eyes had closed, his fingers had become limp. A single tear had run along Hermione's cheek. She had got up and she had come back to the battle. Only when she had been alone she had whimpered, crying her heart out, howling in the dark of the night. Only Harry had known why she was so devastated and he had kept her secret. Now he was trying to help her the best he could.
Still stunned by Snape's confession, haunted by the fact the man she had loved had loved her, too but both had been too proud or too shy to admit it, she couldn't help but try to think to a way to change that. She was a powerful, adult witch now and she knew she could find a way. If only...
"I could use the reverse time turner," Hermione thought aloud.
"You can't," Harry replied. "Not on this scale."
"Would you help me to find a way?" she asked.
"What do you plan exactly?" Harry asked.
"I'll go back to time," she said. "Two years ago. I'll say to myself, in the past, what happened. I'll tell her what to do to save him. When I return time will have change its course and he'll be alive."
"And you'll be dead. Or me. Or Voldemort will have won. It's too dangerous, Hermione, even to save the man you love. I still can't believe you could be in love with a Death Eater. With our enemy. With the murderer who killed Dumbledore."
Hermione lowered his head. "He's been so unhappy, Harry! His whole life was bitter, sad, depressed. By following Voldemort he just wanted a revenge."
But Harry's gaze was harsh and Hermione knew she would have to find a way on her own. Day after day, she worked hard on ancient parchments, reading countless tales of time reversing, some of them true, some of them pure legend. Then she found out. She checked everything twice, thrice. She didn't tell Harry. She knew he would do everything he could to prevent her to reverse time. To his eyes, Snape wasn't just worthy of it. Hermione had the feeling she was the only one to remember Snape and to grieve him. For the other ones, including the people dear to her heart, Snape's death was just a good riddance.
She locked herself in a dungeon and took the time turner, the jar where she had prepared the right potion and her wand. Snape would have been proud of her for the potion needed was harsh to master. But she was sure she succeeded. She took it then swallow it. She took her wand, said the right formula before using the reverse time turner.
She had to close her eyes as the time swayed then warped around her. She saw countless sunrises and sunshines until her head spinned then everything stopped. She listened. Nothing. With a firm gesture, she opened the door.
Five years' Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger were walking and talking in the hallway.
"I told you that you would have problems!" Hermione exclaimed. "You just can't fool him."
Harry was to rispost when he stopped dead, for another Hermione was standing in front of them. An older version of Hermione, he noticed, thinner, with shadows on her face. She looked sick.
"Oh my!" young Hermione exclaimed. "It's me!"
"Of course I'm you," the older Hermione replied. "Look, I've very little time. I used the reverse time turner and a potion but it won't last for long. So listen carefully."
"When do you come from?" Harry asked in an imperious voice.
"A few months after the end of our seventh year," Hermione told him.
"Voldemort?" Harry asked. "Please tell us!"
"There was a harsh battle, that's all I can say," older Hermione said. "Hermione, you have to listen to me. I'd like to speak to you in private but I don't have time. Something went terribly wrong. The man you love in the depths of your heart..." she paused. "died."
"No!" young Hermione exclaimed. "It can't be! He can't die."
"He died. He died telling me he was in love with me, too. He was killed by Voldemort. Hermione, you have to go to him and tell him you love him."
"You're a fool!" young Hermione exclaimed. "I'd neve dare! Besides, he would make a fool of me! Perhpas he didn't even know he loves me."
"He loves you since the Yule Ball. Go to him, love him and this will change the curse of time. But be aware, Hermione, that his loyalty is... dubtious."
On these very words, older Hermione disappeared in a flash of light, called back by her own timeline.
Five Year's Hermione took a deep breath. She barely heard Ron asking who was the man she loved. She shrugged and left without a single word, too shaken by older Hermione's tale to care. Snape was going to die! She had to do something to save him! Older Hermione had told her she just had to love him to save him but she would have liked to know more. Hundred of questions were hitting her by now.
"Do you believe that?" Ron asked Harry. "We fought You-know-Who and we won!"
"How would you know?" Harry asked.
"Well, Hermione, I mean the Hermione from the future, is alive."
"She may be alive but it doesn't mean we won," Harry replied. "Did you notice how sick and sad she looked like?"
"She told the man she loved died. Oh boy! What does it mean? Who's that guy? Krum you think?"
"How the hell do you want me to know?" Harry shrugged.
"Maybe... oh Harry, I hope she wasn't talking about you!" Ron suddenly thought aloud.
"Hermione's not in love with me," Harry shrugged again. "Come on! Hermione from the future told us his loyalty was dubtious. Would my loyalty to myself be dubtious?"
"Well, in that case, it's not me either," Ron said.
"I know," Harry smiled, patting his best friend's shoulder.
"Then who?" Ron wondered.
Harry didn't answer. He had caught sight of Hermione. She was talking to Professor Snape. Poor Hermione! This wasn't just her day.
Hermione's steps had come to cross Snape's in the middle of the hallway. She looked at him. He loves me, she thought. He knows he loves me. She took a deep breath. She wouldn't allow him to die. She summoned up her courage. Go girl, go!
"Professor?" she courteously asked to get his attention.
"Miss Granger?" he acknolodged her presence.
"I was wondering... I've some problems to master potions this year. Really a lot of difficulties to follow the class," Hermione lied. "I would have like to knnow... I know I'm not Slytherin... but..." she was aware she was blushing. "Would you care to give me some private lessons about a few potions? I will fail my exams if I don't do better than I do."
Snape looked at her with half closed eyes, wondering what she had on her mind.
"Please, sir," she added with a true, guenuine smile. "I really need some help."
When he saw Hermione smile to him like that, Snape's heart melted.
"Granted, Miss Granger," he sighed. "My office, at 8 P.M."
"Thank you, sir," Hermione smiled again before leaving.
Older Hermione came back from the past with a the feeling her body had fragmented. She caught herself back and looked around her. She wasn't in the dungeon anymore but in the hallway.
"Hermione, are you okay?" a familiar voice asked.
She faintly smiled to Ron. "Fine," she whispered.
Did it work? Was he alive?
She ran a shaking hand in her hair then froze, looking at her hand.
"What's this?" she asked.
"Your hand, you moron!" Ron laughed.
"No! The ring?" she exclaimed.
"Your wedding band, you idiot."
"My wedding band?" Hermione dumbly repeated.
Ron shook his head. "Sometimes, Hermione, I wonder how such a smart girl like you can... Hey, Harry, Hermione's weird."
Coming toward them, Harry smiled and the very first thing Hermione caught sight of was the wedding band he was wearing.
"You... you..." she babbled.
Oh boy, she had married Harry Potter!
"You look like you saw the devil itslef," a deep, silky voice said from behind.
She turned on her heels.
Harry burst into laugher while Snape smiled, looking slightly embarassed.
"Well, Severus, does she always call you professor? That's some interesting glimpse into your personal life!" Harry laughed.
"Somedays Harry I deeply regret I can't put you in detention again," Snape said, laughing in turn. "Hermione, sweetheart, you don't look well."
Sweetheart! Hermione's heart missed a beat. Then she noticed Snape was wearing a wedding band, too. Could she had succeed?
"Mrs Snape?" a little and shy voice interrupted them.
A first year, blushing to the root of her red hair, was handing her a parchment. "You forgot this in the class."
"Thanks," Hermione mechanically said, taking the parchment. Mrs Snape. The girl had called her Mrs Snape.
Snape took her hand in his. "Come," he ordered in his best teacher tone. "You need some rest."
She followed him, walking on a cloud. She had succedded! Severus Snape was in love with her and had even married her. The ex-death eather had married a murky blood. She barely noticed they headed to Snape's private appartments and entered them before going to the bedroom. There, Snape helped her to the bed.
"Lie down. You're pale. What's going on, love?"
Love! She smiled.
"Nothing, professor," she said.
"Hermione, you know I like our little games but not tonight," he said to her with a tender smile. "Tonight I'd like we have sex without games... just plain and simple sex. I'm spent and you look like you need some sleep. Hermione, you're blushing?"
Sex! He talked to have sex with her like a casual thing! He came by the bed, bent and kissed her on the lips. Hermione felt so surprised she opened her mouth to speak but he took advange to slid his tongue in her mouth and give her a deep kiss that let her shaken to the bones. Then she noticed his hand was on her breast and she pushed her back.
"Wait!" she exclaimed.
This was going far too fast for her. A few hours ago she was grieving a lost love. A few hours ago she had never let a man kiss her like that and certainly not touch her breats. Now the man she loved wanted to have sex with her. Her head spinned.
"Professor... Severus, I've something to tell you." Oh boy, how the use of his first name sounded strange to her ears.
"Can't it wait tomorrow?" Snape asked, taking his coat off. Then his black shirt. Then he began to undo his fly and Hermione gasped.
"Stop!" she exclaimed.
"Please put your shirt back on," she asked.
He looked at her like if she had turned mad but nevertheless complied.
"I've something to tell you. Rather something to confess."
"That I guessed," he replied, sitting on the bed and holding her. "Tell me, love. I guess it starts as in 'I made a potion I don't master that well and it all messed up'", he resumed, stroking her hair and kissing her on the lips. "My brilliant, young wife."
Hermione's heart melted. Wife. She smiled.
"Professor... I used the time reverse turner, a potion and a spell. To change the past and therefore, the present. About us."
"What?" Snape croaked. "Do you know how dangerous it is? Hermione..."
He hold her tigh. "Hermione, a single change in the past and we could lose everything. Including our present happiness. You know how your love was important to the fact I turned from Death Eather to Harry's friend. You know how you made me feel so good, so happy, so worthy just because you loved me that I left Voldemort without a single regret. You know from where I come from, Hermione. This is too fragile to play with the past."
"In my present, a few hours ago, before I used the time reverse turner," Hermione whispered, locking eyes with him, "we never had a chance to tell each other about our feelings and you died a follower of Voldemort. You died in my arms, telling me you loved me."
Then Hermione told Snape everything.
When she was done, she looked expectingly at him.
"Are you mad at me?" she asked in a little voice.
"Mad at you?" Snape replied. "Mad at you? Hermione, what you did... is the kindest thing someone did for me. And kind is a weak word. You endangered everything for me. To save me. I can't say how upset I am, how moved I am. Nobody in my entire life loved me as you do."
She smiled and dared to take his hand in his. Last time she had done this he was dying.
"I love you, professor," she said.
"I love you, too," Snape said with tenderness, stroking her cheek.
He held her and she let her head rest on his shoulder. But soon she gently pushed him away.
"Professor, I lost my memories. I mean, I don't remember things I never lived. I don't remember us. I don't remember our first... kiss. In my mind I'm still... uh... you know...."
"A virgin?" Snape raised a brow. "That I guessed. As you were in the center of the time warp, you're still in your own timeline."
"I'm okay to have sex with you if you like," Hermione bluntly said, blushing to the root. "But I'd rather wait."
"Do you think I'm that of a bastard to ask you to make love with me like if nothing had happened?" Snape asked. "Hermione, I thought you would know me better. I'll wait, of course. You don't have to be frightened."
"I'm not. Professor, what did you mean by games?"
Snape had such a naughty, saucy smile that Hermione blushed.
"Sometimes we play teacher and student, my dear. Again and again. That's a fantasy that turns you on so hard it would be petty to deprive you of it."
Hermione was so red that she had the feeling her face was in fire.
"Professor," she began.
"Hermione, I know you don't remember, but I would like if you call me by my first name," he softly interrupted her.
"Severus..." she savored every syllabe on her tongue. "Severus, for how long have we been married? Were you my first lover? Since when are we lovers?" she asked in a breath.
"Three months. Yes. Two years," was Snape sharp, amused answer.
Hermione laughed. "Kiss me," she suddenly asked. "You never kissed me."
"My pleasure, love," he said, benting over her.
His kiss was passionate and Hermione melted into it, fully savoring his taste. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I want you, Severus, I do want you, but it's so new to me..."
"I'm not a beast, dear," Snape replied. "I think I can spend one night without making love with you... even if it's going to be quite hard to live on."
He disappared in the bathroom and came back clad in a very decent black silky pajamas. Hermione found a blue sikly pajamas and put it on. It was all strange to enter the same bad as Professor Snape. Her husband. Her lover for two years.
"How was it? Our first time?" she couldn't help but ask.
"Passionate. Volcanic. Wonderful." was the amused answer.
"You kidding. Two years ago... I didn't even ever see a man naked."
"That I know. You were rather curious about that. I had the weird feeling of being a subject of observation," Snape laughed. "Hermione, could you stop asking questions like this? You're giving me a hard-on." He swore then corrected. "Sorry I didn't mean to shock you."
"It's okay. I'm not that of a naive young girl. Are you really... aroused?"
"Want to check out?" he teased her.
Suddenly Hermione wasn't herself. She stretched her hand.
"Miss Granger, you're shocking me," Snape said in his best teacher tone. "What a way of behaving from a virgin girl!"
Hermione blushed in the dark. "I don't know what's happening to me. I never act like this! I mean, I feel like it was familiar but it's not."
"If my memories are correct, you were like that in the beginning. Shy but curious and sometimes very bold."
Hermione grabbed the sheet as a life saving. Her hand had barely brushed against Snape's arousal but she felt all weird. She craved to touch him again.
"Would you be shocked if I..." she began. She stopped dead.
"No. Whatever you were asking for, the answer is no."
She rolled on herself and ended into his waiting arms. She could feel his arousal but she wasn't frightened anymore. She trusted him. He wrapped his arms around her, her head resting on his chest. She felt so happy she thought she was going to cry.
"I love you," she whispered in the dark.
"I love you," he answered in a hoarse voice.
Sleep claimed Hermione before she was able to think. She was exhausted. But Severus Snape spent long hours wondering what timeline Hermione had changed. In his own, she had come to ask him for private lessons during her fifth year. He had granted her, thinking she was just asking for lessons. He was in love with her and he felt guilty about these feelings he couldn't master because she was so young, her student and an enemy. But soon, during the hours they came to spend together, they had turned more intimate. He had taken a real pleasure to teach her potions far more advanced than these required for her exams. She was brilliant and when adult, she would turn a challenger, which he appreciated. They had come to joke together. Then, one evening he had kissed her. They had confessed their feellings towards each other. However, as hard as Snape had wanted her, he wouldn't have turn her into his lover so quickly hadn't she taken the lead. They had became lovers. Soon Snape had confessed her everything about Voldemort. He felt like if his past as a Death Eater was a bad dream. He had turned to the right side. Happy, loved by a beautiful young woman, feeling worthy of her love, he had no more reason to feel anger and desire of revenge. They had fought side by side the final battle against Voldemort, leaving some good friends behind them, risking their lives. Snape had been close to die but Hermione was there, wand in hand, ready to save the man she loved more than life itself.
For they had kept their love affair secret, Snape remembered Harry Potter's face when, at the end of the battle, Hermione had rushed into Snape's arms and kissed him on the mouth in front of everybody. He had to admit that he had savored that moment, images of James dancing in front his eyes. This time he was the one who got the girl. Hermione was eighteen then and he had proposed her. They were married within one month in a discreet wedding.
Hermione woke up in the morning, not sure where she was. She saw Severus still lying by her side, looking at her with tenderness. She stretched her hand to stroke his cheek but stopped.
"You see this?" she asked.
"Like if everything was distorded!" she exclaimed.
"It's a time wave!" he told her. "Let it happen!"
He couldn't see the wave itself as Hermione did but he was aware of the air brushing her long hair, hitting her, wrapping her into a blue light. Then the light disappear. Hermione looked around her.
"You still love me?" she asked.
"No way it could be otherwise."
"We're still married?"
"Of course, Mrs Snape. Don't even think to a divorce."
"Never," she smiled. "Oh boy, Severus, I do remember both timeline. The one you... died and this one. I do remember our first time. I do remember everything."
"Too bad," he teased her. "I would have like to make love to you for the first time... a second time."
Hermione had a saucy smile.
"Well, we can always pretend, don't you think my love?"
He joined her on the bed.